VIRANLLY

Yes. i went for a cruise like an old lady enjoying her time off with grandkids not caring about what she eats nor who should make her bed.

This week long food-a-polloooooza began with (of course) a lunch buffet on deck number 8 of a Holland America Line. The details of what i inhaled that afternoon should not interest you all.

And then this happened!

I spent quite a nice sunny afternoon on a sea-view lounge with James Franco and GQ, trying to keep my already-so-old self updated with what those spiffy young men are wearing.

I could not content my excitement for the first as-i-wish-dining experience (that’s how they call it) and it was an actual as-i-wish (as long as i can find it in the menu) experience. My eyes went straight to the chef reco of the night:

The prime ribs:

It might have been just me being overly too excited or i was just hungry again (this shouldn’t be the actual excuse) but i could somehow tolerate this cruise-fine-dining food, until i got so full of my ice cream that night and passed out.

Day 2 began with breakfast bla bla bla nothing really was that fascinating since we spent the entire day being tossed on the sea. I did not even have a chance to snap a picture of my fresh-out-of-a-Brooks Brothers-catalog outfit for that night’s “formal” ocassion.

…and then dinner was served, again. I started of with the beef carpaccio. Not okay! i mean it tasted okay but i could taste that the beef was being let out in the open air longer than it should have been.

i really should not complain about the carpaccio any longer since my main course was waiting to be judged, i decided to go with the quail, the stuffed quail, the stuffed quail that shouldve not been stuffed, at all. The important part (according to those foodie-wanna-be-instagrammers) is however being taken care of: it’s a picture perfect dinner!

One too many scoops of vanilla ice cream later, the old lady ship arrived at Juneau, the capital of Alaska. The fact that i found a coffee shop with a wireless internet made me forget about the rest of the world and spent most of the day just the three of us: Me, Internet, and my iPhone. At this point i feel like i found the fountain of life and by the time we left the city, some cold blooded Eskimos took it away from me. However, i did wear a very pastel-chic preppy outfit and scored a compliment from the coffee shop lady!

Deets:
Violet oxford: Club Monaco
MInt shorts: JCrew
Knit tie: American Eagle (i’m serious)
Loafers: Mark McNairy, which i kinda destroyed later that day *le sad face*
Totes: Earnest Alexander

Tonight’s dinner was brought to me by the all-american-style buffet that overwhelmed me with the amount of food and the old people, crying babies, and decent human being ratios, so let’s just not get there.

Day 4.

I think we were at Skagway. Being so sick with the ship, i decided to get down and explore the city whose population is half of the amount of friends i (thought i) have on facebook. It was a teenee tiny city that consists of mostly those cheesy touristy shops and sketchy jewelry stores BUT i did take some photographic memories in lil’ skagsy.

I mean.. can i look anymore like a tourist than this? na-ah i dont think so

Bites on Broadway: The moment my faith in food was restored, they have some serious italian sausage biscuit and crunchy, melt-in-your-mouth cookie!

…and the best part is: cute-EST outdoor patio along the hallway

This chic, little exploration came to an end and i got pretty excited to see what the next city had to offer (at that time).

Just when i thought we’d make a stop to another city, here came the Glacier Bay! The natural attraction that got people a little too excited, i mean, it’s pretty: yes! but seriously ladies and gents, it’s an area filled with glaciers and snowy mountains, get-over-it! It was that pretty tho, i didnt even put a filter on it!

That’s the view! I really wish global warming wouldn’t eff this beauts up!

It was another formal evening on the ship and everyone still managed to tickles my sassy side. Seriously, even in tux and ballgowns, some people could still hurt my eyes. I’m sorry but i don’t think i was supposed to say that since i looked pretty tacky myself that evening

It was that tacky that i actually interrupted someone’s piano show. Some people had to stop after they saw me. To redeem myself, i submerged myself in a sea of butter pecan ice cream with butterfingers on the side and got knocked up with a food baby the next morning.

As the new day began, i took a break from complaining about the fact that i was fat and couldnt stop eating while waiting for my room service order. The fam and i arrived at Ketchikan. A slightly bigger city with another fantastic coffee shop that provides internet

I literally said “This is the best mirage that i’ve ever had” a la aidan meets Carrie in abu dhabi out loud when i saw the sign “wi-fi with purchase”

Yes, i got to that point. Until we explored the city a little more and arrived at the Creek St. The infamous red light district of the city (naturally, i ended up there *cough* Sl*t!)

and my outfit really fit the picture: My shorts literally stopped ‘dem traffic that day

and some more snaps:

With all the time in my hand i also decided to stop and fulfill my cellulite craving at the local’s fav chowder joint: Anabelle.

Nigel would be so proud of me and my poly-blend burnable outfit.

And since i was already late for the run through, i mean, embarkation, i ran back to my deck and took my 67th nap of the trip. Still pregnant and filled with cellulite.

Things got a little shaky, literally, as we’re spending the next full day on the sea. Good thing they had tanks and tanks of ice cream and at one point, an all-indonesian food buffet. And good thing it was the last full day of the cruise. I went to my room filled with excitement to have my last old lady sleep. Until i saw this hanging casually in my room:

In a way it’s cute, in a way it scared the hell out of me.

As i woke up the next morning, i saw that i finally had reception on my phone, it felt like Christmas. 45 minutes later, i saw the lions-gate bridge and a little after 9 i arrived home, in Vancouver, in my beloved apartment that smelled like a 2 week old bouquet of flower, but i LOVED it.

Oh also, at one point during the last day on the sea, the rainbow decided to show up!

There! i did it! I made my first traveling related post and i’m pretty sure this is far from the last.